Life has a way of challenging us to force promote personal growth. An unconventional method that breeds more questions than answers but hey, I didn’t make the rules. When presented with these opportunities of growth, we have a decision to make. Should we ride the wave and adapt to what life brings our way or resist and fight like hell? Growth is a constant and will happen whether you want it to or not so the question still stands: Are you evolving or stalling?
“PSA: 2020 will be the exact same as 2019 if you don’t get off your ass and make the adjustments that you need to mentally, physicially and emotionally”
Evolving takes personal growth a bit further in that instead of making personal changes to ourselves, we evolve to fully accept ourselves and allow life changes to happen naturally. The evolution of self is a journey specific to each individual and your path in life. Most people spend a lifetime learning to fully love and accept themselves and have that acceptance reflected in their every day lives. Talk is cheap when it comes to evolving and life has a way of testing you to see just how solid you are. Its simple for me to say stand your ground and never fold and that’s because I’m extremely resilient and determined once my mind is made up. A quality I sharpened within myself.
As an evolved person, you commit to certain path in life. Having a good job, decent money and a comfortable home life is certainly goals but that’s not the finish line. The goal is to excel not maintain barely making it. Evolving is always pushing that envelope a little further than you thought you could. Its testing your own boundaries as you should be your only competition. Evolving is healing yourself before hurting someone else, being more financially responsible and planning for your future.
“Stalling is a disguise of faux progression and to be blunt, who has time for that? You can play with your life if you wish, but your older self will regret wasting valuable years of your life chasing bullshit. “
Stalling is an avoidance measure and what happens when we drag our feet to accept the challenges placed in front of us. There’s a multitude of reasons why we stall, too content within our comfort zones, afraid of the work necessary to see these challenges through, ect. While intimidating, its better to get ahead of it and learn on your own before life forces your hand. In some weirdly fascinating way, the universe is always interconnected. It is divinely orchestrated in that nothing happens by accident or coincidence. Everything happens exactly as its supposed to. Stalling is a disguise of faux progression and to be blunt, who has time for that? You can play with your life if you wish, but your older self will regret wasting valuable years of your life chasing bullshit. Time is the one thing in this world we can’t control and no moment is retrievable.
” The evolving process is just as much about true acceptance as it is about checking to see if you’re operating from your purpose or your ego”
As a new business owner, my time is my money and my money is nothing to be played with. You see, I walk my talk and realign my priorities and make adjustments as necessary because my goals require me to be disciplined now to reap the rewards later. That for me meant doing shit I really didn’t want to do, but did it anyway. What good are your life lessons if the wisdom you’ve gained isn’t applied or shared? The evolving process is just as much about true acceptance as it is about checking to see if you’re operating from your purpose or your ego. To separate the two is a goal by itself but once mastered, you’ll see one of life’s most valuable lessons. Life is a compiled list of choices and each choice we make has a cause & effect reaction. Are you choosing wisely?
Passion The Restaurant, The Shoppes at Greenbriar 1036 Volvo Pkwy Chesapeake, VA
As you all know, brunch chronicles are a favorite of mine and this feature was no different. I’ve never been here before but was excited to try it out. Located in a strip mall with plenty of parking, it was easy to get to. The brunch hours here were listed from 10:00 am – 2:00 pm. We arrived right before 1:00 and there wasn’t much of a crowd but I certainly complaining. Our server was friendly, prompt and attentive.
The brunch drink menu wasn’t that extensive, but they did offer a few mimosa and bloody Mary options, with a full bar in case you need something on the rocks. I opted for the pineapple mimosa and water of course! It was just enough juice to taste but left the champagne taste to savor.
The brunch menu options were plentiful! I was torn between the shrimp and grits, the lump crab or the classic omelet and the Pan Purdue (French toast, bacon and hashers). I inquired about the cinnamon roll French toast option and our waitress explained that it was actual cinnamon rolls friend the same way as French toast and served with buttercream and caramel icing. I was sold!
The French toast was heaven and very filling! I even had enough to bring home despite arriving with my stomach on E. I always try to portion control my meals to still eat what I want but not fall too far off track. Balance lol. Overall Passion the Restaurant was a great experience and I plan to come back!
Good afternoon and Happy Thursday! I took a bit of time to myself here recently to disconnect and do some introspective maintenance. I have definitely missed writing, but I needed to reconnect with my vision and where I was going. This journey to self love is a never ending, winding road that can occasionally produce a few bumps. Its all apart of the process! I wanted my blog post to reflect what I was currently doing and how I got here. Here are 10 things I’ve learned along the way.
1-Boundaries Boundaries BOUNDARIES! I had to put the extra emphasis here to imply how important this is. Your boundaries set the stage for what you will and will not allow from your loved ones and strangers alike. Now some of you may be wondering why this matters. Having weak boundaries will wreck havoc on your life because you will always be susceptible to the wants and needs of others, often neglecting your own. Boundaries are there to ensure your needs are met, your space isn’t violated and a show of confidence that you will only entertain respectful and pleasant interactions. A big part of enforcing this is saying what you mean and meaning what you say. You have to be unapologetic and firm if you want to be taken serious. Just as children can pick up when they can get over on their parents, your peers are the same way. If you don’t stand up for yourself, your sending the message that you and your wants don’t really matter. You absolutely matter and should conduct yourself in a way that speaks for you. Be accommodating but don’t let yourself get run over.
2- Be True To Yourself. This one varies by the individual but the message is still the same. Honor yourself by doing the things that resonate with you. Find what makes you happy and keep it close. Many times we play the part to fit in and it might work for a while but you will soon experience a sense of dissatisfaction in your life. We can’t live for other people and we shouldn’t have to endure that prison. Being true to you means saying no sometimes, it means listening to your body and making the best decisions for you despite what others think or say. This means being honest about our feelings and your desires in life. This is about honoring that soul inside that gives us life! Work and family is hard as hell to balance and sometimes responsibilities triumph our immediate wants and as bad as we want to do nothing, we can’t quite do that. I get it and experience this often, but I’ve learned to make up for it in other ways.
3- Regularly Scheduled Me Time! That’s right, this is absolutely necessary! This is how I keep myself happy, balanced and in order. Working hard is the key to success but burnouts are REAL and we don’t talk about them nearly enough. Some of us spend more time working than we do at home so we have to purposely step away and play hard sometimes too. While the amount of free time will vary depending on circumstance, I think we all can agree that getting out of house to unwind can do you a world of good! Whether its a happy hour, massage, brunch, a vacation, shopping or whatever it is you love, make sure to carve out that time just for you. When my daughter was younger, I used to feel guilty about leaving her with babysitters to enjoy myself. I started to notice when I did things to make me happy, I was naturally happier in other parts of my life as well and it tremendously eased the stress I was carrying all week. Find your happy and just do it!
4- Happiness Is An Inside Job! This is something I had to learn the hard way, but when I tell you the lesson stuck, it stuck big time. I’m naturally very observant and the societal norm has been to “find someone who makes you happy and live happily ever after.” This is so incorrect and leads me to wonder if this perception has anything to do with why the divorce rate is so high. The thing about life is we all have free will and putting your happiness in the hands of another is giving away too much control. We all want and desire love, we’re human and made for companionship, but to put the responsibility of your happiness on someone else is selfish and lazy. Only we have the power to decide our moods and temperaments and only we can change them. We mistake the influence others have on our happiness as them “making” us happy and that just isn’t the case. When you finally learn and accept that it all starts with you, I promise your perception will change. You become a force to be reckoned with because you aren’t easily swayed. When your happiness comes from within, no one can rob you of that unless you give the ok to do so. Take your power back!
5- Love Your Own Company! This is pretty self explanatory but I needed to emphasize this! How can you expect someone else to love and be up under you when you don’t love and want to be with yourself? There are many adults wondering through life, jumping from relationship to relationship, losing a piece of themselves with every new encounter. These actions reek of desperation and a fear of being alone. There is nothing to fear when alone, we cannot run from ourselves. I think the root of why people run from themselves is because they don’t want to address the person in the mirror and that’s a huge problem. Learning to love your own company is becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable feelings you may have. Its accepting every bit of yourself, the good and the bad. Its about accountability and owning up to the choices you’ve made in life. Once you reach full acceptance, you will notice that being alone isn’t bad at all. You might end up craving that sacred alone time.
6- Sisterhood Is Important! Your tribe has a huge influence on your vibe. Women are notorious for being catty, but what I see is a rise in sisterhood and I couldn’t be happier. When we can come together, support and uplift one another, we become a strong collective group. Support systems are everything in life and having your soul tribe near is priceless. We are not each others enemies or competition. There is more than enough for us all to get the bag. Everything isn’t a competition and we achieve our goals faster by working together. When we can show genuine love, respect, support and encouragement, we open the door to new potential relationships that can last a lifetime
7- Be Confident In Yourself and Your Journey. No two self love paths are the same. We may share similarities but our purpose is distinctly ours and sometimes it can get very lonely. Ascension and growth isn’t all love and light and it triggers you to break old beliefs. Stand firm in your power and trust the process. What is meant for you will never miss you and we have to learn to take comfort in that. We have to learn to truly be happy for others even when our time hasn’t come. Its easy to feel bitter or discouraged but these are NOT the emotions we want to manifest more of. Fake it til you make it if you have to, but get in the habit of genuinely being happy for those around you. Grateful and thankful feelings are the ingredients to manifesting our desires, it doesn’t hurt to cheer someone else along the way! I often times felt confused, lost, isolated and more walking this path but I didn’t give up and the growth and glow I’ve gained is the fruit of that labor. Seek help or advice if need be. None of us have all the answers. When I put my ego to the side, I humbled myself to seek and learn as much as I could. Nothing worth having comes easy, remember that always and keep going!
8- Your Perception is Your Reality. Isn’t it amazing to think about how two people can be in the same room, witness the same things but have totally different perceptions? Perception is objective because we all have our own and it is fueled by our thoughts. Our thoughts really do control our lives! What you focus on is what you will see more of. Many of us learned these lessons the hard way, but this one was the most profound for me. When you think negative of yourself, it shows and your energy is something that you cannot hide. This is hard to change but its not impossible.
9- Your Health is Your Wealth. This is something we take for granted far too often! We are only given one body in this life, so it makes sense to take care of it. Rising is age and increasing health issues isnt the time to focus on better habits. Making good habits early on increases the likelihood you will keep it up. Our society seems to focus on responding to problems rather than preventing them. There is a lot that goes on that the average person is unaware of, but its our job to be diligent. We all know that the best tasting foods are the absolute worst for us nutritionally and the numerous pesticides and chemicals injected is causing our health to decline. Its a viscous cycle we must break away from, but we have to first acknowledge it exists and have the sustainability to carry through change. If we can prioritize watching our favorite show with undivided attention, we can sacrifice as hour to exercising. Time management and motivation are crucial, you cant just talk about it you have to be about it.
10- Protect Your Peace! If I had to choose a favorite from this list, it would be this one! Peace of mind is priceless and its our job to filter out the bs. Protecting my peace means honoring being true to myself at all times. It means removing myself from people or places that threaten my peace. Basically, its how I keep the energy around me good. I only have control over myself and the energy I emit, and while I cant control others (not that I would want to) I can control your access to me. I was often times a person who never said no, despite my brain screaming the words internally. The things we see on the news, on social media and sometimes right in front of our very eyes are riddled with triggers. This world and the things that go on can easily make the happiest person depressed but that result serves no one. Be observant but heavily filter the information you take in and become familiar with your limits and unplug as necessary. Protect the peace and essence of your reality.
While I feel I could of kept going, this list is a pretty good start at what I still do to maintain myself while growing and learning. There are times that we are the teachers and the students and with an infinite amount of knowledge, that unlikely to change. How has your self love journey been and what has been your most prominent lessons? Let me know down below!
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