Tag Archives: Healing

Queen

Hey my Loves! I know this blog post is a few days later than usual but I took some time off for my birthday! Blessed and appreciative are understatements to the blessings that I have received in my life and I needed some time to really reflect on where I am today and how long I’ve come in my journey. This is a new chapter of life, the 31st edition! This year my age and birthday numbers are reverse (March 13) I wonder if that has any significance. I titled this blog post queen because what other day to feel like a true Queen than your birthday! I want to touch on what being a queen means to me.

A Queen is described as the female ruler of an independent state, or the most powerful chess piece that each player has.

To be a queen is to command the presence of the room before you even speak. To be a queen is to carry a regal elegance about yourself. To be a queen is to be powerful yet humble and take no shit.

A queen values herself and her tribe and is good to people. She must must be accountable and be able to admit when she is wrong. She must be a leader and set a solid example for those around her and beyond.

A queen isn’t afraid to dream big and demand the very best.
She will show you just how to slay the world and build an empire customized to her essence.

A queen knows exactly who she is and does not emulate things not of her authentic self.

She accepts, owns and claims her strengths and her flaws. She has the ability to turn her pain into her power.

A queen understand its wise to plan for the future, but the most important time is right now. She’s aware that time is the most precious gift you can never get back.

A queen oozes confidence and walks like she owns the world and keeps that head high always. A queen does not let people walk all over her. She doesn’t settle in friendships or relationships.

A queen is not easily triggered and can control her emotions and maintain her poise. A queen always remains classy and dignified and never lets anyone get a rise from her.

A queen uplifts, never degrades or tear people down. She understands that respect and support is a two street and she is reciprocal.

A queen understands the need for quality over quantity. From the linen worn on her skin down to the company she keeps, quality is all she surrounds herself with. She will rid herself of toxic people and environments.

A queen is very wise, knowledgeable and intelligent. She is just as much the teacher as she is the student, always learning and improving.

A queen can recognize other queens and show love and support without her own crown feeling threatened. She knows she has no competition and therefor harbors no jealously.

A queen is very aware that silence is golden, and will not waste her breath on those beneath her. This may trigger some who think “we are all equal” and fundamentally that is correct, but we all dont lead with the same moral compass, if one is used at all.

I’m going to drop a few jewels here… we all have the ability to be queens! It is all in the energy you emit and we have total control of that. Self love is the foundation for everything else in your life. When you truly love yourself, it shows. When you truly value yourself and trust intuition, you shift your energy in a positive direction. The thing is to KEEP your energy is this direction and continue to elevate. Easier said than done, I know very well, but you cannot get through life without work. Its all in how bad you want it….. Queen

You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup

Today is the last day of January and I cant believe how fast the month went! I know I said this weeks post would be about love languages, but with Valentines day around the corner, I figured that would be more fitting for the occasion. Learn to expect the unexpected from me, things can change fast but all for the better good!

Abundance is when our cups run over, but what happens when your cup is empty? A burn out is most likely on the horizon. Achieving balance here can be tricky sometimes but ensuring your cup never gets too low is crucial for healing and maintaining self care. Its too easy to pour all of yourself into your loved ones and don’t get me wrong your heart is certainly in the right place, but realistically no one can sustain like that forever. To be a giving person is a blessing, but over exerting yourself will leave nothing else inside for you. The cup is supposed to represent you. When its empty, you cant give the things you need to give to your kids, family or community. Our cups become empty when there is nothing being poured back into us or we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to practice real self care. You cant have the drive and passion for everything else in your life and neglect to pour that magic back into yourself. YOU are the most important project you will ever work on. When you are operating are optimum levels, you are better able to give and serve those around you without becoming depleted yourself. Learn to work smarter not harder.

This is a good example outside of financial reasons of why we need equally yoked relationships. You cannot be the only one pouring from your cup, depleting yourself while that love isn’t reciprocated. We should surround ourselves with people who also help us, look out for and pour back into us. This is not just limited to romantic relationships either, this also applies for friendships, business relationships and such. We also have to make sure that we are open to receiving help, we cant be too busy and ignore or neglect the people who want to assist us. Even if it isn’t intentional, just be mindful of it. Accept help when it is offered and know that you don’t have to carry the burden of the world alone. This is something I’m actively working on.

Its ok to take breaks, or have alone time. Many times we feel guilty for not giving ourselves a break when there are more important things that require our attention, but this train of thought has to end. I am a much better parent if I’ve given myself time to collect my thoughts and improve my mood from a long day at work. Its easy to get annoyed at little things when we are already stressed from the day and we do not want to take it out on those closest to us. That’s exactly what we are trying to avoid and replace with better practices. We are human though, sometimes we may slip and have a moment but remember to forgive yourself and keep trying. We should be mindful to what our limits and triggers are and how long it takes us to reach them. Empty cups are detrimental to everyone around us and takes much longer to fix than catching it before it gets that bad. Its having practices in place to prevent problems before they arise.

To combat having an empty cup, self care practices can be ideal. You can develop a self care plan or list that has things to do that bring you peace when needed. It really is up to you and what you like but my list includes:

  • bubble baths
  • journaling
  • meditation
  • going to the gym
  • retail therapy
  • 30 minutes of decompress time after work before jumping into mom mode
  • scheduling weekly date nights, happy hours or brunch dates with friends
  • chocolate and wine of course lol.
  • Pictured below another list of ideas that cost you absolutely nothing so no excuse!

For those unable to squeeze in time after work, there are the night owl hours after everyone has gone to bed for the night, or the early bird rising before everyone else to enjoy the sunrise and a cup of coffee in silence. There are plenty of ways to achieve the time, its taking the steps to actually do it and not giving into excuses. Prioritize yourself into those busy to do lists and make sure your cup is taken care of

Self Discovery🔸️What’s It All About?


Self Discovery is defined as the process of acquiring insight into one’s own character

One piece of advice that I wish I had very early on in life is that you have to gain a solid sense of self in this world before you do anything else. You have to connect within and know what drives and motivates you. Self discovery is the internal exploration about connecting with your higher self and finding yourself without the influence of family, friends, religion or society.

The purpose for self discovery is breaking down all things that are not of your true self and rebuilding into a stronger, more solid version of you. Our wisdom and knowledge is only useful when shared or applied so put your growth to use! Our existence in this world is much bigger than ourselves and we’re all apart of a bigger picture. The purpose is to find your place in this puzzle of life. Unhealed trauma and suppressed feelings have a tendency to show up in other areas of our life when they are left
unaddressed and this will snowball into more problems to fix down the line.

This journey is a difficult one and is often brushed off because a lot of people don’t like reliving painful experiences or revisiting their childhood traumas because it means realizing their behavior and beliefs are be based on it. Too many people go through life pretending about who they really are, wearing the mask of who they think they should be. How can you ever find your true purpose if you aren’t real about your gifts and what makes you unique in this world? This path isn’t an easy road, but its so rewarding and essential to heal for personal growth.

I know there are some who are wondering how exactly do you do this? There are many ways to approach self exploration but the key for me was writing down my strengths, weaknesses, the things I loved and disliked about myself, my motivations, what fueled my fire and what put me out. I made a list of these qualities and spent time with them one by one. I did it this way so that I had a complete inventory of what I needed to work on and where I was starting from. Some areas required more work than others.
I thought back to what formed some of my opinions and beliefs and that reflection led me see that many of my negative experiences shaped my behavior and how I approached relationships, friendships and my own relationship with myself.

There is no time table as everyone’s self discovery journey will be different. It usually isn’t until people have grown tired, frustrated, or spiritually drained that one will seek self exploration as a way to change and transform their life. Who are you? This question is the essence of self discovery. Finding who you are at the core without being defined by the roles that you fulfill. You may be a mother or father, employee or business owner, friend ect but that is not WHO you are. I always like to say that I am an old soul with magnetic energy and a heart full of gold. An intellectual mind curious of all of the worlds wonders. A Queen who’s turned her pain into her power. This is who I am