Accountability


Happy Thursday!! Today is the last day of February and I have no idea where the time is going! While I am extra excited to see March (Pisces season!), I couldn’t let this day go by without acknowledging all of the black history posts and celebrations I’ve seen all month! This has not been lost on me, if we are Facebook friends you are well aware of this lol. Black history should be celebrated often so it doesn’t stop at the end of February. Accountability is word I’ve seen thrown around a lot lately from everything politics, history, the economy, relationships and so on so what does this all really mean?

Accountability is defined as the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility

dictionary.com

Accountability is as simple as accepting responsibility for the things that you do and don’t do. AKA owning your shit in Mimi’s terms. Its being able to acknowledge both the good and bad behaviors within yourself and society as a whole. Change cannot occur when one will not accept the issue as truth. It requires a humble humility to admit that you have faults and may be the cause of some of the negative things in your life. It requires patience, understanding and forgiveness to accept your toxic traits, explore the root reason behind why you connected with them and make a conscious effort to change for the better. This isn’t easy, especially when habits are years old and can be tough to break. Maintaining your accountability means to keep on doing the right thing no matter how strong the wrong things pull at you. This is a trait universal to several areas in our lives. How can you truly be a good parent if you aren’t accountable? How can you be a dependable boss or employee if your word means nothing? I remember as a child, my Great Grandma Sis had a favorite saying and it was one I never forgot.

Sorry ain’t worth is damn

As a 8 or 9 year old child I thought it was the funniest thing in the world to hear her cuss in her southern Louisiana accent, but I didn’t really understand what she meant. As an adult, I often think back to that and smile to myself, knowing that now I fully comprehend what she meant. And I stand firmly behind it. Sorry means nothing without changed behavior. Its just lip service and creates a cast of bullshit surrounding the one who is “always sorry” but keeps doing the same thing.

Accountability is pivotal in the dating arena. While its easy to blame our ex’s for the demise of past relationships, we have to look at how our behavior played a part. Every man/woman isn’t the same and shouldn’t be treated the same. Its our responsibility to properly heal in-between relationships and take control of our happiness. No one is responsible for that except us. While others may contribute to our happiness, they should never be the source of it. Source should always come from you first.

When you practice accountability, you take charge and control of the direction your life will go. The thing about change is we don’t get to see physical results and that’s what makes it hard. We should expect our leaders to set the tone when confronting difficult issues. It leads by example for those around us to also stand up and do the right thing. Someone has the set the example and abide by it! Life as we know it sometimes resembles reality tv because we don’t have many honest, authentic leaders who truly guide by the principles of putting the people first.

Lets be real, most people would rather hold everyone else accountable and avoid themselves. Our society is in the business of doing things so that people like you and practicing accountability is the exact opposite of that. Its calling out those failed goals, toxic behavior and horrible spending habits. Its knowing when to rock the boat and not being afraid to express tough love or make hard business decisions. Its making sure to stay on top of our children’s well being and monitor their grades, behavior and influences. Its not cute nor acceptable to watch a smart mouth child cuss or disrespect their parents or teachers. It all starts at home and your child is a direct representation of you. Its nice to be friendly, but not to the point of you the parent being run by your child and you hold no authority to them.

Our job is to raise our children and keep them in line so that they grow up to be respectable adults. That involves punishing bad behavior, bad grades, not following directions, ect. but most importantly leading by example! Its not the teachers job or responsibility to do these things. Its easy to turn on a movie to get a little quiet time or hand over our phones for YouTube. We have to be accountable in making sure the content they view is age appropriate and doesn’t contain inappropriate material. The social media frenzy about this “Mow Mow” character is an eerie reminder of that. This creepy looking lady has been exposed on Youtube, popping up half way through kids videos encouraging them to harm themselves and their families. While this isn’t said to scare anyone, it is a major reminder that sometimes us parents don’t fully check what they are watching as often as we should. We blindly take for granted that people wouldn’t harm children and sadly that’s just not realistic all of the time. This drives the entire point of this post home.

Your word means nothing if people cant trust it to be dependable. We should all strive to be more accountable in our lives and help those around us adapt this behavior. All it takes is one leader to spark the change.

Travel Blog- Chicago

Good morning and Happy Thursday! Another cold, wet and rainy winter day here in Virginia and I’m over it! This weeks blog post will be a travel post for a place I recently had the chance to visit… Chicago, CHICAGO! I arrived in the windy city (stood true to this statement!) on a Thursday afternoon for a long weekend. It was my annual family reunion and Chi Town was this years pick of the draw. I’ve been to almost every US state with the exception of a few, and Illinois was on that list. You hear so much about Chicago so I was itching to come and see it for myself and I’m so glad I did!

My first night there was pretty uneventful. Although I live on the East Coast in Virginia, we first drove to Detroit and spent Wednesday night with family before finally heading to Chicago Thursday morning. The road trip wore us out but we did attend the meet and greet, which consisted of happy hour drinks, snacks and socializing. A little while later we were served a Chicago hot dog style bar and karaoke. I ate and talked for a bit before heading for our room to shower and lay it down for the night. The next day (Friday) was the family picnic where I saw many more relatives, ate more than I needed to and even learned to Chicago step- the infamous Chicago dance the area is known for. That evening followed with a evening excursion into the city and down to the first Chicago landmark- the Navy Pier, a 3,000 ft pier located on the Chicago shoreline of Lake Michigan on the North side of the city. On the way to the pier, we stopped at a popular area for pictures of the Chicago skyline, one of the worlds tallest and features four of America’s eight tallest buildings in the county. A beautiful sight indeed!

View of the Chicago Skyline

The navy pier features dozens of restaurants, events, cruises, rides and games, shopping tours and more. I had to try some of the infamous Garrett Popcorn, a Chicago tradition and opted to try the “Chicago Mix”, a blend of Caramel and Cheese. I was a bit put off by the combination but not too bad. My mother and grandmother wanted real food so we walked down to Bubba Gump Shrimp Co Restaurant and Market. I stared off with a frozen mixed drink (Mai Tai I belive) and a water. The cool thing about these drinks is some of them come with souvinere glasses or drink shakers to take home! This particular one came with a drink shaker so that was a nice perk. When it came to the food, I ordered the Shrimp New Orleans. This is a shrimp dish that reminds me of shrimp etouffee, a creole southern classic. It was delicious!

Another stop that we made was to The Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park, another famous Chicago landmark. It features one of the largest fountains in the world! The neat thing about this fountain is that its built in a Rocky, Rococo wedding cake style and is meant to artistically represent Lake Michigan. The inspiration for this fountain is from the Latona Fountain, found at the Palace of Versailles in France. I love how live and lit up it is a night. There was so much to stop and see down here.

Saturday, our final day in the city began with another city tour but my photos weren’t that great from where I was sitting on the tour bus. I did manage to grab a slice of Chicago deep dish pizza (it wouldnt be right to come to Chicago and not try the pizza lol) and ended with a family banquet to close off the weekend. I didnt get to see as much as I wanted to due to time constraints but here are a few things that I want to experience the next time I come back to Chi Town:

  1. The Chicago skydeck! Located on the 103rd floor of Willis Tower (formally Sears Tower), this attraction is most famous for its thrill-seeking, panaromic views of the Skyline but specifically- an extended glass balcony over 1300 feet from the ground!

2. A cruise down the Chicago River! This is a great opportunity to get a up and personal look of the Skyline and all it entails. I love the water, so anything to be close to it is great for me! Plus they offer evening cruises and offer a full bar!

3. Millinimum Park- Three square blocks of art and acritecture to include Crown Gate, Crown Fountaim, farris wheel, outdoor music pavilion, ice skating rink in the winter and the perfect backdrop for a host of local and family friendly activities. We did drive through here but next time I want to stop and explore!

Overall I would say that this trip to the mid-west was successful! There was so much to see in so little time, but I’m glad to have checked some things off my to see list! Until next time Chicago!

With Love,

Mimi

Love Languages

Good morning and happy hump day! We are half way through the week and almost into Pisces season, today is exactly one month away from my birthday! With Valentine’s day tomorrow, I figured what better time than now to talk about Love Languages. In the season of all things love, gifts and quality time, its good to recognize that we don’t necessarily receive love in the same way. The love languages concept is based on the book “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman. The purpose is to discover how you best give and receive love and to build stronger relationships. The five languages include Acts of Service, Words of affirmation, Receiving gifts, Quality time, and Physical Touch.

The Love languages quiz is a necessary self love and discovery tool to learn your own love language as well as how to best love your husband or wife, children ect.. I always see a huge emphasis on this in regards to personal relationships, but not so much for parent/child relationships. Loving our kids or parents the way they need to be loved is just as important! To love someone isn’t to love them the way we THINK they should be loved. To love someone is to learn all about their individuality and love them in the language they receive it best to be their highest self. Often times, we can rely on our own thoughts and feelings in regards to how we show love and assume that’s how everyone is. How we show love is not always received in the way we intend and that’s why taking the time to learn this is important. To achieve this is to learn your partner’s method of love, study it and master it. I’ll get into which love language I scored highest in as well as the others in the order personal to me. I think I kind of relate to them all to some extent lol, depending on the circumstances. I’m always outside the box, but thats what makes me unique. The link for the quiz is below!

Quality time is the language I scored highest in. I value personal, one-on-one time with my loved one to build and maintain our bond. I feel most loved when someone spends time with me and gives me their undivided attention. Likewise I also express love in the same manner. Intimacy plays a big part here for me, I have particular interest in the man bold enough to really explore my mind and what makes me, me. I like to explore the mind and thoughts of the man I’m with. As a sapiosexual, I am someone who is attracted to the intelligence of a man. I like to dig deeper than surface level discussions about life and everything in-between and get to know the soul inside, not the ego portrayed. Energy is everything to me and will introduce you before you’ve had a chance to open your mouth. I want to sit in your presence and experience the unexplained… something like observing the way you may scan a room before speaking or the constant stares I catch from you out of the corner of my eyes before blushing, your demeanor and tone or that random scent of your cologne. Even down to how comfortable I feel around you and the vibe that I get from our conversations and eye contact. I am very observant, so quality time to gauge chemistry is necessary for me to get a true feel for who I’m with. Its so much to soak in that the digital experience cant match. Not to say phone calls and video chats mean nothing, they definitely are the next best thing as we all have lives to get to. Cancelled dates, distractions and failure to listen are especially hurtful when done repeatedly. As long as the time spent is fulfilling, the want for quality time doesn’t have to be over excessive.

The second love language is Words of Affirmation. This love language focuses on written and verbal expressions of love and affection. I love receiving and giving complements. This one goes hand in hand with intimacy so I have a special place in my heart for words of affirmation. I like hearing how someone may feel about me and random notes of appreciation. I find that this has the ability to change my mood and uplift my spirits and make me want to go harder for my loved ones. Those who identify with this as their primary love language need to hear the words to connect with how they feel about you. On the flip side, insults can have an especially damaging effect. Your partner is not likely to forget hurtful things you’ve said and this will cause issues and can lead to the demise of the relationship. Telling your partner you love and appreciate them can go a very long way.

There is nothing quite like a long, shared embrace with the one you love. The second and third language was almost equal to each other in importance for me. I love bear hugs, cuddling during rainstorms or movies, holding hands, play fighting and other physical displays of affection. For me to fully come out of shell physically, I need the mental and emotional connection made during quality time to be in sync first. Nothing anyone says can be more meaningful than someone reaching out and hugging or touching you. Touch is a nonverbal que to express I love you and I’m here for you without saying a word. Physical contact is the expression of love by giving and receiving pleasure and ensuring sure your partner is satisfied. As with all types, the characteristics to avoid include physical abuse, giving the cold shoulder and avoiding physical contact. These behaviors are destroyers for this love type. Anxiety can arise when one becomes starved for touch and can grow aggravated. Healthy and wanted touch is how those with this love language feels most connected, safe and secure.

Gift giving isn’t always as grand as we tend to think it is. Whether its being surprised with a nice perfume or your favorite candy bar from a store run, we all like knowing we’re thought about. I enjoy edible gifts, but I also value things I can hold on to. These kind of gifts serve as a reminder that I’m always loved and thought about whenever I see it and takes me right back to that moment in time. As much as I love receiving gifts, I also like to surprise my loved ones in the same manner. I love the look on my daughters face when I’ve brought home something she loves. It makes me happy to see her face light up, even with something as simple as a $2 bag of hot fries. Its not about being materialistic or obsessing about the cost behind it. Missed birthdays, anniversaries and thoughtless gifts can cause your partner to feel insignificant, forgotten and unloved. Even if its something as simple as a hand written card or picked flowers, it really is about the thought and intention behind the action.

Acts of service is valued as those who take the initiative to get things done. The key here is to humbly serve and physically help out wherever necessary. Whether that’s doing housework, preparing dinner or maintaining the cars, these are a few examples on how acts of service is shown for this love language. The concept behind this language is to show love by donating your time and effort to easing the burden of responsibility. This language is looking for the action from your words and expect you to mean what you say and say what you mean. Broken commitments, not being dependable and laziness are turn offs and should be avoided. People with this primary love language will feel unloved and unappreciated when their loved ones don’t show a desire to help them keep things in order. Having your partner choose to put their time and energy towards you will make you light up with love and appreciation.

These are all very different expressions of love. Its makes you aware of what your partners needs and triggers are. It can be easy to assume someone doesn’t love you but it could very well be a case of not recognizing and understanding when love is being shown if their language differs from yours. This concept has also helped me to strengthen and better understand my relationships with my family and friends. When building a relationship, I aim for a genuine connection with longevity and this tool is helpful in creating stronger, lasting bonds. Here is the link for the quiz, take it and let me know your results and comments below!

This is the official link, which makes you create a profile https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Here is another test to take without having to do all that jazz https://365tests.com/personality-tests/what-is-your-love-language/

Brunch Chronicles~ Bay Local Eatery πŸ“VA Beach, VA

Good morning and Happy Sunday! Authentically_mi the blog has been up for a month and a half and it been great so far. This post is going to be a bit different from my content so far. I wanted to branch more into what else the Authentically_mi brand has to offer. Eat Read Sip is a book club and review platform that includes the self title online/local club, book reviews, and Authentic Eats. Brunch Chronicles is a series of Authentic Eats featuring various brunch reviews, local and afar. Check out that section for more details! I decided to start this series off with a fairly recent visit to Bay Local Eatery, a gem located in Virginia Beach, VA.

917 Shore Dr
http://www.baylocalvb.com

My first impression was how busy this place was and the fact that parking was hard to find. They have a huge parking lot across the street, but towing is enforced for the restaurant over there so I highly advise to try and find street parking. Nothing is worse than thinking you’ll get away with it and coming out to no vehicle in sight and a hefty fine to get your car back. After a 15 minute roundabout, I was lucky to see someone pulling out.

Once inside, the waitress told us there was a 45 minute wait, which was long but we decided to stick it out. Luckily for us they had seating right by the door along with a few drink menus. We were able to go up to the bar and grab a drink prior to our table being ready soΒ the time flew by. I was surprised to see that their brunch menu is served all day instead of the usual 10 am to 2 pm.

My friend and I both got the regular pomegranate sorbet mimosas and they were delicious!Β  The sorbet covered in champagne was a great combination. The drink became sweeter the longer it sat, plus it remained cold. Once we were finally seated, I decided to try the mango sorbet mimosa and the flavor was ok but taste wasn’t as noticeable and sweet like the pomegranate. Between the two I definitely prefer the first one!Β  I glanced over the menu and the food options were plentiful!

Part of me wanted the jamaican dark rum french toast, the light tower omelet, Da club sandwich and the hangover just to get the beer in the bag lol. I had every intention on getting the omelet but at the last minute I switched to Da club this time with a jumbo pomegranate raspberry mimosa (this mix is really good πŸ˜‹). They allow you to mix flavors for an additional dollar, but you have to get the jumbo size.

This sandwich was massive 😳. I had to bite at the corners to avoid looking too greedy lol. It was much bigger than I was expecting but it was very tasty and filling! They did not skimp on the meat, which is covered by this huge slice of cheese. I wish I had taken a better picture of the inside. The fries were well seasoned and crispy but too not hard. I always try to portion control my meals so that I can still enjoy the foods I want but in moderation. The weekend are my cheat days so I try to make them worth it. This brunch more than doubled as lunch the next day….. I wish the drinks were to go too lol.

All in all this was a great brunch experience with good food, awesome drinks and a nice, relaxing atmosphere. What are some of your favorite brunch spots? Make sure to check them out if you are in the area and subscribe to stay with to date with my latest brunch chronicles adventure!

~With Love,
Mimi

{MM} OUTSPOKENLY OPINIONATED- ABOUT

MORE ABOUT OUTSPOKENLY OPINIONATED

 This segment of Mimi’s Mic will focus on poetry, experiences, observations and more.  I wrote my first poetry piece in the 6th grade.  It was something I randomly stumbled upon while always listening to music and writing my own lyrics.  I’m not much of a singer though, so those words never left the paper.  They did seem to get better with time, it became an outlet for my feelings and experiences.  So much so that written expression is easier for me to express. 

These post may not be for the faint of heart, so they will clearly be marked with {MM} to keep these posts separate from the Authentically_mi blog.  They are related, yes but distant cousins.  That outspoken opinionated fish on the bottom and the empowered uplifting fish on top.  Both of the fish making up my sun sign of Pisces!

More information to come soon!