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Changing The Stigma On Being Single

Single and stigma probably aren’t two words one would normally put together in a positive sense, but yet here we are. As most of us grow and progress in age, we tend to equate that to a fine bottle of wine getting better with time but there is still this unspoken stigma on single women. I’m here to tell you why that is total bs and what I think will help change the narrative.

” Too many people settle just to say they have someone and that’s not my idea of a successful union “

Most of us grew up with the expectation that marriage meant you made it. Not only is this outdated but its a superficially small way of looking at life. The stigma of something being wrong with older single women is often times baseless. There is nothing wrong with you because of your relationship status or lack there of. Too many people settle just to say they have someone and that’s not my idea of a successful union. Marriage is important but its not the determining factor of life and death and we need to stop treating it as such. There should be more importance placed on marrying the RIGHT person that gives your union longevity vs rushing to meet the age quota only for it to deteriorate a few years down the road. I’m by no means knocking the value and sacredness of the matrimonial union, only shedding light on the fact that there are other things to work towards and be proud of.

Times have changed drastically from when our grandparents were dating. Back then, it was the norm to marry young and fast, starting families and building from scratch. The economy was much better and good paying wages made it feasible for the husband to work while the wife tended to the home and children. The flip side to this was many of these wives were solely dependent on their husbands for everything from finances to survival. This created an unequal balance of power, leaving many women with very few options to leave even if she desperately desired to do so.

” … but that doesn’t mean we devalue marriage. The dynamics have changed from a need to a want. “

Women of today are competing and occasionally excelling beyond our male partners. We are no longer dependent on men for survival, but that doesn’t mean we devalue marriage. The dynamics have changed from a need to a want. I look at marriage as a lifetime partnership that has many sectors under its umbrella. Not only are we lovers, but best friends, business partners, supporters and cheerleaders who will share the responsibility of raising a family and leaving a legacy for your children and grandchildren to build upon.

Your single season is supposed to be the time where you heal, rebuild and truly reconnect with yourself. This is where you discover who you truly are without any outside interference. The single season is when you are truly free to live on your own terms and the optimal time when you should act on your curiosity. You may discover you have a love for wine festivals, reading, traveling or whatever your into. We all handle this process differently and in a multitude of ways but the fact that someone is taking time to heal and grow before bringing past baggage into another relationship should be encouraged. Hurt people hurt people and the only way to break that cycle is to recognize the reason behind our own toxic behavior and heal. Some of us come out stronger and better prepared for our next relationship and others may come out feeling like long term relationships or marriage is not for them. Everything isn’t for everyone and that’s worth respectfully acknowledging.

I’ve noticed among women there is sometimes a condescending tone from married women towards single women and I never understood why. While marriage is definitely something to be proud of, your relationship status is no stipulation of progress of a good life if that’s all you have to show for it. Have we all not seen the divorce statistics lately? The divorce rate is high as hell and more likely to happen the younger you marry.

” We love to preach about being equally yoked but that extends much further than finances. “

Marriage traditionally was a business partnership. It was only in the last few generations that we have adapted to marrying for love. Love should be present whenever marriage discussions are underway, but we cannot forget about the business and character aspects of the people we love so much. Love alone will not foster a good marriage nor will it raise a family. We love to preach about being equally yoked but that extends much further than finances. Is this person also satisfying me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually as well? These are some of the things I ask myself because I want something that will stand the test of time. I’m very aware that even with the most planning, things still can go wrong but that’s no reason not to prepare and aim for the best.

Your relationship status doesn’t speak for your entire life. We should be proud of the things we accomplish on our own with education, work, entrepreneurship, traveling the world and beyond. Changing this narrative will require honest discussions and open minds to hear, understand and respect perspectives different from our own. This includes checking our judgement and the root of our opinions. The beautiful thing about life is that we all coexist but have totally different realities. What may work for me may not work for the next person and that’s ok! The emphasis should be put on the fact that we are indeed different, which means our goals, aspirations and actions will be different and the respect for our own worlds should be given freely. What are your views on the single season? Do you think a stigma on unwed older women still exists? Let me know your thoughts and opinions!

Brunch Chronicles~ Bay Local Eatery 📍VA Beach, VA

Good morning and Happy Sunday! Authentically_mi the blog has been up for a month and a half and it been great so far. This post is going to be a bit different from my content so far. I wanted to branch more into what else the Authentically_mi brand has to offer. Eat Read Sip is a book club and review platform that includes the self title online/local club, book reviews, and Authentic Eats. Brunch Chronicles is a series of Authentic Eats featuring various brunch reviews, local and afar. Check out that section for more details! I decided to start this series off with a fairly recent visit to Bay Local Eatery, a gem located in Virginia Beach, VA.

917 Shore Dr
http://www.baylocalvb.com

My first impression was how busy this place was and the fact that parking was hard to find. They have a huge parking lot across the street, but towing is enforced for the restaurant over there so I highly advise to try and find street parking. Nothing is worse than thinking you’ll get away with it and coming out to no vehicle in sight and a hefty fine to get your car back. After a 15 minute roundabout, I was lucky to see someone pulling out.

Once inside, the waitress told us there was a 45 minute wait, which was long but we decided to stick it out. Luckily for us they had seating right by the door along with a few drink menus. We were able to go up to the bar and grab a drink prior to our table being ready so the time flew by. I was surprised to see that their brunch menu is served all day instead of the usual 10 am to 2 pm.

My friend and I both got the regular pomegranate sorbet mimosas and they were delicious!  The sorbet covered in champagne was a great combination. The drink became sweeter the longer it sat, plus it remained cold. Once we were finally seated, I decided to try the mango sorbet mimosa and the flavor was ok but taste wasn’t as noticeable and sweet like the pomegranate. Between the two I definitely prefer the first one!  I glanced over the menu and the food options were plentiful!

Part of me wanted the jamaican dark rum french toast, the light tower omelet, Da club sandwich and the hangover just to get the beer in the bag lol. I had every intention on getting the omelet but at the last minute I switched to Da club this time with a jumbo pomegranate raspberry mimosa (this mix is really good 😋). They allow you to mix flavors for an additional dollar, but you have to get the jumbo size.

This sandwich was massive 😳. I had to bite at the corners to avoid looking too greedy lol. It was much bigger than I was expecting but it was very tasty and filling! They did not skimp on the meat, which is covered by this huge slice of cheese. I wish I had taken a better picture of the inside. The fries were well seasoned and crispy but too not hard. I always try to portion control my meals so that I can still enjoy the foods I want but in moderation. The weekend are my cheat days so I try to make them worth it. This brunch more than doubled as lunch the next day….. I wish the drinks were to go too lol.

All in all this was a great brunch experience with good food, awesome drinks and a nice, relaxing atmosphere. What are some of your favorite brunch spots? Make sure to check them out if you are in the area and subscribe to stay with to date with my latest brunch chronicles adventure!

~With Love,
Mimi